People tend to view a “good relationship” as one in which love between the participants is paramount, and because there are infinite ways of getting into a state of love for someone else, today I want to point out that one of those ways is often overlooked: compassion.
For whatever reason, I think people tend to not see their romantic relationships as places for compassion – and this may come from an assumption that compassion is only for people we don’t know very well, and that once we know someone, we can move beyond compassion into love.
Compassion is for everyone. It’s been my experience that conflict in relationships comes from only a handful of root causes, one of which is a hurting (physical, emotional, or otherwise) from one or both of the partners.
In such cases, I believe all arguing over points of view or “who is right,” no matter how civil or non-civil (or even non-verbal) is totally useless. Someone is hurt. Competition solves nothing. Compassion allows the hurt of one to be felt by the other. In cases where more than one person is hurt, each can feel the hurt of the other. This is far more effective at producing understanding than trying to decide who is the “winner” of a particular fight. Feel what the other person feels instead of trying to get what they think. I guarantee, compassion will resolve far more conflicts than logic can ever hope to.