I just wrote that loves seeks to create abundant joy. It helps, in creating joy, to know what we’re trying to create. So in a loving life, we must take time to engage in those activities which create joy in our own lives. We are as worthy of joy as everyone else.
I love making music, both with my voice and any instrument that I can manage. I love turning a good meal into something artful. I love having deep conversations with people. I love writing. I love hugs. If I didn’t make time for any of these things in my own life, I would be pretty unhappy, and as a result, I would likely not be all that great at helping joy come into other people’s lives.
The only tricky part here is of self-discernment: figuring out which activities we really deeply enjoy and which just feel good. I enjoy eating donuts, for example. How deeply do I enjoy it? I can’t say for sure. But I can say with a good deal of certainty that eating a donut or six every morning would create far less joy in my life than making sure I write something that I want to write every day. You already know, intuitively, which things in your life give you deep and lasting joy, and which things, ten years from now, you think will be time wasted.
Do the things you really seriously enjoy. It will make you better at loving yourself and others.